The Path to Sainthood

What he said: "Wow, I just can't believe how big you are at 22 weeks!"

What I heard: "Wow, I just can't believe there aren't folks trying to roll you back into the ocean!"

Now, I know that he hasn't had any real experience with a pregnant woman before. I understand that he's not had the opportunity to watch the wonder that is a baby growing inside another human being. Still, I couldn't help but look down at my stomach after this comment and think, "Good GOD, he's right. Come on, people, PUSH -- Willy needs to get back to the open water!"

And then sit as a couple tears of self-pity rolled down my cheek.

Yes, I can say with utmost certainty that pregnancy hormones have got me feeling overly sensitive, irrational, and more than a tad bit insecure. I've read that it's all normal, and I have no doubt that's true, but I can't for the life of me ever remember being as ... hormonal during my previous pregnancies as I have been with this one, particularly lately.

Let's look at another example. The other morning for some reason only the imp that lives in the water-pipe knows, while in the shower I was inexplicably doused with icy water. There I stood, shampoo in hair, in real danger of getting it in my eyes, soaped-up all over and absolutely no hot water. I know there was a logical explanation, (like the water heater had suddenly sprung a leak and flooded the entire basement or something silly like that) but at the time it was enough to send me into inconsolable tears. Really. A cold shower. Yes. I know. ... Hormones.

After the "Willy" incident, I got to thinking that if I'm this far gone at only 22 weeks, things are going to be pretty rocky for the next 18. He's already shown an extraordinarily generous capacity for understanding. By the time Cernan is born, he's going to be eligible for sainthood.

It's my turn.

All the popular kids are doing it so I figured it was my turn and what better time to begin than the new year? Now, I should warn you that you definitely should not be under any illusions that this blogging thing will be something I do on a regular basis. I would hate for anyone to be disappointed. Some things just have to take priority, you know?

So anyway, my first thought is to say Happy 2010. That's got a great ring to it. 2010 - of course if you are really into Mayan prophesy, that means we've only got 2 years left before something REALLY radical happens, but I'll no doubt address that another time. I'm looking forward to some fairly awesome things in the coming year. Not that I have expectations, mind you. Nope, not me. If there is one thing I learned in the last year it's that having expectations can on ocassion lead to disappointment and sometimes resentment from the party you've piled your expectations on. (See? I can learn wisdom.) So, while I am looking forward to awesomeness, I'm keeping an open mind about it. (Apparently during the gaining of all this wisdom, I've also started to wax philosophic. You learn to live with it.)

One of the biggest things I am looking forward, however, to is the birth of my child. She (update to follow once the ultrasound confirms) is not my first, but, as an "elderly" mom-to-be, she is no doubt going to be the last. Wow, is that word a reality check or what? Anyhow, due to circumstances over which I have no control, my other children and I have no contact. They may as well be in a galaxy far, far away, so the fact that come Spring, I'll have a little bundle of joy to nurture, guide and love is a rather amazing and awesome thing. Add to that the fact that her father is the love of my life and I'd say that if nothing else great happens this year, I'd still be one of the most blessed people on the planet.

And with that, I think I'll wrap this up.