I Love You, Suzi

You've been on my mind every day since I left - all of you have.  I hope you don't doubt that.  For whatever reason, the past couple of days, you in particular have been in my thoughts constantly.  I can't  imagine what's different than any other day that I bear the constant, continuous hollowness that aches because I can't hear your voice or see your smile, but incredibly enough, I hurt even more.  It's incredible because I didn't even believe that was possible.  

Yesterday, I heard a song on the radio that I'd never heard before, and I don't even know the artist, but her voice sounded exactly like yours and so I listened until about halfway through when I couldn't stand it anymore and changed the station.  I just sat and cried for awhile, wondering how you were doing and if you were maybe thinking about me.  

Forgiveness isn't mine to ask for, I know, and yet I am begging you for it the only way that I know how to.  Kindness isn't what I deserve from you and still I'm throwing myself at your mercy, praying that you might grant me just a little. 

I love you.

Always and forever,
Mom