Stacy and Susan Need YOU!!

Post by Susan Marie Coté.

Stacy and Susan's Online Pagan Vendor Fair

I've been lamenting the fact that there seems to be way too many instances of people tearing down other people in what appears to me to be an extension of the "scarcity mentality". In the world of small businesses, particularly handcrafting ones, there is a broad range of what is out there, but there are also HUGE scores of potential customers out there; more than enough for us too ALL succeed even if we were to promote each other, life each other up, and sing each others' praises rather than attempting to sabotage each other in the interest of protecting our own businesses.

To that end, my good friend, and sister of my heart, Stacy and I put our heads together to come up with Stacy and Susan's Online Pagan Vendor Fair.  The whole idea came about after Stacy and I had taken part in a similar type thing Facebook. We thought that it was, in theory, a great idea, but needed some serious tweaking because there were way too many people taking part and the majority were Scentsy, Tupperware, Pampered Chef, Thirty-One type sellers that were posting over and over and we were getting buried in the sea of these things. Neither one of us made a penny in that venture. BUT, it got us to thinking: What if we were to focus solely on high quality, handcrafted, pagan artisans, and kept each event small; only 10 vendors, plus ourselves, for a total of 12.  In addition to that, every day one vendor would have a minimum of 6 full hours of being a 'Featured Artist' on our main page. This feature would put the spotlight directly on a single vendor (without detracting from the fair that would be on-going on the event page) and give the artisan the chance to really talk about their shop, their products, and their process.

The entire point of the fair is to help small business owners to get themselves seen, to promote their crafts, and to draw in potential customers and it works! The idea took off and gained momentum faster than we could have ever believed! Within a few hours of posting it, we had filled up the first week and were very nearly filled for the second week's! Round 3 also filled up fairly quickly with several returning vendors, but plenty of new ones, keeping the entire thing fresh and new looking.

Visit the Lasted Featured Artist at Stacy and Susan's Online Pagan Vendor Fair

Post by Stacy and Susan's Online Pagan Vendor Fair.

You will not want to miss the latest featured artisan over at our awesome holiday shopping event happening now on Facebook. What a great way to support small, independent businesses while checking off everyone on your holiday shopping list.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Happening NOW -- Holiday Shopping Done Right

I've been running an online Pagan Vendor Fair for the past several weeks with a good friend of mine, and so far it has been a SMASHING success for everyone involved. The vendors who are participating have had a huge upswing in their sales, as well as lots of exposure to more people than they ever would have been able to reach on their own.

Stop by and see if you can't get all of your holiday shopping done, from the comfort and warmth of home, while supporting small, independent business and cottage craft industries. Bring the prosperity back to where it belongs. Be sure to check out the Featured Artisan, Margaret Shipman! 

Post by Stacy and Susan's Online Pagan Vendor Fair.

Does Authenticity Exist Anymore?

au·then·tic·i·ty

ˌôTHenˈtisitē/

noun the quality of being authentic.

It seems really sad to me that I am even asking this question, and yet, here it is.  This past year I kept running into the brick wall of a complete lack of authenticity in people and each time it happened, I would be shocked, hurt, angered, and appalled. What is it about our society that allows people to believe that putting on a "front" is totally ok, or worse, that it is the norm?  I mean, I am willing to make allowances for a stranger who might be trying to present a side of themselves that is more socially acceptable or even attempting to "reinvent" themselves; we've all had periods in our lives when we were less than our best selves.  But what about when it is someone you call 'friend'?

And by ''friend' I don't mean the person you have never met but are good pals with on Facebook or whatever.  Internet friends are awesome and without a few of them (you know who you are) my time in Kuwait would have been bleaker and lonelier than it actually turned out to be, I'm grateful to the depths of my soul for you and hope to meet someday.

Still, those who you have actually spent time with, broken bread with, whose children you have cared for, whose tears you've wiped while shedding rivers of your own, whose darkest secrets you have kept closer than your own, when THOSE masks fall, it is a much deeper cut and the betrayal hurts much more.

So, this post isn't really going to be a great treatise on anything of great import. I just wonder, Does authenticity exist?

Featured Artist: Branwen's Botanicals ~ TheCraftStar Blog

Featured Artist: Branwen's Botanicals ~ TheCraftStar Blog

I'm more than a little flattered and completely geeked out to be the CraftStar's featured artist. If you haven't already had a look at what I do for a vocation, check out the blog article and have a look around my shop.

What's in a Toothbrush? (Colgate® Slim Soft™ toothbrush - Review)

The Colgate SlimSoft VoxBox from Influenster

First of all, anyone who knows me or has ever known me knows that I have a "tooth thing".  I carried a toothbrush and mini tube of toothpaste in my purse throughout high school because I needed to make sure that there wasn't ever anything caught in my braces - and I'd SEEN the pictures of what poor oral hygiene could do to a person's teeth!! I'd turned down a number of dates because the poor guy didn't have good teeth.  I was worse than a rancher buying a horse.

Anyway, as you can imagine, when I got my Colgate SlimSoft VoxBox (which I received complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes),  I was as giddy as a kid on Christmas morning.  Don't judge. 

Queue Celestial Choir

Now, I've always been a fan of Oral-B toothbrushes.  For me, those are the standard that all other toothbrushes must attempt to reach.  I had my doubts about this new one from Colgate, but I will be the first to admit, I pre-judged.  (See? That's what I warned you about earlier.) 

To begin with, this is what the claims are: 

• A 6x better reach between teeth and gums.  (Seriously?)
• 1.5x deeper access between teeth.  (OK, we'll see.) 
• 35% more bristles (Yes, that's apparent from looking at it.) for a unique mouth feel.  (Are you thinking that's a good thing?)
• An ergonomic and flexible handle

I put it to the test as soon as I'd gotten the nearly impossible to open packaging off the toothbrush. 

I really liked the look of the toothbrush and I loved the fact that they sent me one with SOFT bristles as opposed to MEDIUM or FIRM.  I've always been told my my dentists that soft ones are best.  There's one check in the "PLUS" column already.

Now, have a gander at those bristles.  Remember when I said they claim there are 35% more bristles than the leading toothbrush? I'd say this one's definitely accurate.

35% MORE bristles!! Unique mouth feel ... hmm... 

As I said earlier, I put it to the test as soon as I opened it and I was immediately blown away by how good it felt.  My Oral-B toothbrush would sometimes irritate my gums (perhaps because of my over vigorous brushing, who knows?) but in spite of not changing the pressure or length of time brushing, my gums were happy.  When I'd finished, my entire mouth felt as if I had flossed between each and every tooth. My entire mouth doesn't feel like I've flossed between each and every tooth when I DO floss between each and every tooth!! Could ~this~ be the unique mouth feel they spoke of?  Well, whatever it was, I LOVED it! That's when I knew I was hooked.  

I pulled my Oral-B out of the medicine cabinet and looked at it speculatively before placing it on the edge of the sink,  "You've been assigned to the other enamel now." I use it when I clean the hard water build up around the faucets in the bathroom. *shrug*

I'm a Colgate SlimSoft Brush convert.  The events in this blog are unique to me and your mileage my vary, but I'm guessing you'll be glad you tried this new toothbrush. Once again, I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes and was not paid or compensated for this glowing review.

Heartsickness and Letting Go

I haven't sat down to write in a really long time. In the face of a bunch of changes that are taking place, I have been feeling a little overwhelmed and a little sad. Sad? Why sad? Well, I miss my children. They are well, and happy as far as I can tell from my cyber-stalking of them. Don't look shocked. It's the only way I get ANY information about them at all. If that's all I can get, I'll take it. But, I was thinking about it today, and it seems to be a pattern in my life. For as long as I can remember, as far back as I can stretch my mind, there has ALWAYS been someone missing from my life. When I was growing up in South Carolina, it was my step-father (the only father figure I have more than a shadowy memory of) who was on the go. I'd cry heartbrokenly whenever he went on another trip. Back then, I also missed my grandparents. Then I went to live with my grandparents. And the person missing was my mother. I can't remember missing her the way that I missed Daddy, but I am sure I must have. Then I grew up and moved away. And I missed everyone. Here's something I came across that I wrote back in 2003 when I had an online journal:

June 9, 2003 Ramblings of Homesickness This month marks the 12th year that I have been living in Kuwait. On some levels it doesn't really seem that I have been here that long. Some places and things haven't changed much in all that time. Other things have changed quite drastically. I remember when I first got here and I was pregnant with Suzi. I had had such cravings for pizza and there wasn't a Pizza Hut in sight! There was a place called Pizza Italia (a horrid chain of pizza pits with the greasiest pizza I have ever come across) but I'll tell you, beggars can't be choosy, and I ate that stuff like there was no tomorrow!! Today, when I go to town, I am tempted by old favorites like Subway, Domino's, Pizza Hut, Sbarro's, McDonald's, Burger King, A & W, Dairy Queen, Long John Silver's, TGI Friday's, Appleby's, and Fudruckers! I am amazed by the sheer number of these places. I can't help feeling homesick, though, when I go to these places because each of them hold memories of times that I had with my friends and family back home. Twelve years is a long time to be away from home. Of course, I've been back to visit a few times, but not nearly often enough. My two youngest children have never even seen their great-grandparents, and I wonder (on my face-reality days) if they ever will. I feel sorry for them that they are missing out on being surrounded by the special brand of love and kindness and caring that my grandparents gave me. I also hate that my grandparents have great-grandchildren that they can't throw their arms around and smother with hugs and kisses. I know that my life is something I chose; I didn't have to leave behind everything I ever knew and come to this hellishly hot, barren country. Of course, there was never any question, really. I was young and in love. That pretty much says it all, don't you think? Still, I am homesick. I miss the smell of freshly mown grass. I miss the sound of summer rain hitting the pavement and the scent of the wet lawn coming in through the windows. Most of all, I miss my Grams and Grandpa sitting around in the evenings (Grandpa in his recliner and Grams in her regular spot on the couch - Kitiara in her lap) with me in a rocker watching Jeopardy! and trying to yell out the answers before anyone else does. I pray that they have many many more years to live and that we make it home to them and give them many many years to make up for all the time lost with these great-grandchildren of theirs. I hope you who read this take a few minutes to tell the ones you love how much you care about them. Don't take them for granted. -Susan

Well, now here I am, back in the States, and I'm happy - I am! I only wish that my children were here with me. That would make this happiness complete. I want to share it with them. They had me when I was depressed and miserable; when each day was a struggle for me to conjure up a smile and I would bounce back and forth between crazy happy and insanely angry because of it. I wish they could see me now. I wish they wanted to. The alternative - letting them go - that's just not possible,

Oh, well. If you're reading this, I hope you'll take that last line from my journal entry to heart. I know I will.

Machboos ala Dajaj (Spiced Chicken and Rice)

After nearly 20 years in the Middle East, you can bet I have a few recipes that I fell in love with. Machboos (مكبوس) is one of them.  The word refers to a dish made of rice and spiced meat (lamb, chicken, fish, or - not so commonly - beef) and is traditional in the Gulf States. The spices - called baharat (بهارات) - used in machboos are what gives it its distinctive flavor; these are generally black pepper, cloves, cardamom, saffron, cinnamon, black lime, bay leaves and nutmeg. The main ingredient that accompanies the spices is the meat, such as chicken, goat, lamb, camel, or sometimes beef, fish, and shrimp. In chicken machboos, a whole chicken is traditionally used. This dish is almost always garnished with a mix of almonds, pine nuts, onions and sultanas called ḥashū (حشو‎) and is served with daqqūs (دقّوس‎)- a home-made tomato sauce - or plain yogurt, or both.

 I've talked about baharat before, so I won't get into that here. Instead, I'm going to share my recipe for the dish which I just made for dinner last night, sans ḥashū and daqqūs, because I'd used the last of my baharat for the actual main dish. Without further ado, let me introduce you to

 Machboos ala Dajaj

2 lg onions, chopped
2 T samneh (ghee, clarified butter)
1 T baharat
1 t tumeric
3 pieces of cinnamon bark
1 t cardamom seeds (or about 8 pods, bruised - I prefer to remove the pods)
1 t powdered loomi (dried lime)
1 C chopped tomatoes (more if you like them a lot - I don't)
4 t salt
4 cloves
2 lg chicken breasts, cubed
2 T fresh parsley, chopped
2 T fresh cilantro, chopped
2 1/2 C water
2 C basmati rice

Steps:
1) In a deep pan, saute your onions in the ghee until they soften and start to brown then stir in the baharat and turmeric and cook for a couple more minutes.

Onions sauteing happily.

2) Add the chicken and stir to cover with the onion and spices, allowing chicken to brown slightly before adding the tomatoes, cloves, loomi, cinnamon, cardamom, and salt.

Chicken in 1" sized cubes

Chicken in the pan

3) Add water, cover, and simmer while you get the rice ready.

4) Choose a good quality basmati rice.  It can be difficult to find a really good basmati here in the US. This is the best one I've found.  It's decent, and can stand up to longer cooking times without breaking down or getting mushy.









5) You're going to want to rinse the rice, so measure it out and put it into a bowl.  Pick out any discolored grains then rinse in several changes of water until the water runs clear. Drain.

6) Gently stir the rice into the pot.








7) Add the chopped herbs and stir gently.  You don't want to break up the rice grains.



8) When everything has been gently incorporated, cover it and simmer on low for 40 - 50 minutes (or until your rice is cooked and the chicken is tender).  You should gently stir a couple of times so that it doesn't stick to the bottom of the pan. If you end up with too much liquid, but everything is done cooking, just turn up the heat a bit and gently stir to cook it off.

9) Dinner is ready to serve! Traditionally, it would be piled into a large platter with the chicken placed in the center, with the daqqūs served in a bowl on the side and ḥashū sprinkled over the top.

Bil afia!! “In good health”

Concerned about Dementia? Tai Chi Can Help!

Tai Chi and Qigong are gentle forms of Chinese martial arts that combine simple physical movements and meditation with the aim of improving balance and health. The movements concentrate on a series of integrated exercises believed to positively affect the mind, body and spirit. These forms of exercise focus on balance and stability which are important in staying agile and may reduce the risk of falls. But you don't have to take my word for it.  Read on, if you need scientific proof.

The practice of Tai Chi lowers the risk of developing dementia better than toning and stretching exercises in elderly adults at risk for developing dementia, according to a new study published in May 2012. Tai Chi is a mind-body practice that combines gently low-impact movement, meditation and rhythmic breathing.
The subjects included 389 older adults at risk for cognitive decline based on Clinical Dementia Rating score or mild cognitive impairment. The investigators trained the subjects in Tai Chi or stretching and toning exercises.

The researchers assessed cognitive and functional performance at the beginning of the study and again at five, nine and 12 months. The investigators also evaluated postural balance measured using the Berg Balance Scale, neuropsychiatric and mood symptoms measured by the Neuropsychiatric Inventory and depression using the Cornell Scale for Depression in Dementia.

Fifty-four percent of the Tai Chi group and 78 percent of the stretching and toning group completed the study. The researchers determined that the tai chi group had a lower risk of developing dementia at one year, showing a 79 percent decrease in the odds of developing dementia. The Tai Chi group demonstrated better preservation of Clinical Dementia Rating scores compared to the stretching and toning exercise group. Furthermore, the Tai Chi group showed greater improvement in delay recall and Cornell Scale for Depression in Dementia scores.

Thus, the study authors concluded, “Regular exercise, especially mind-body exercise with integrated cognitive and motor coordination, may help with preservation of global ability in elders at risk of cognitive decline; however, logistics to promote long-term practice and optimize adherence needs to be revisited.”

So, if you've been concerned about the possibility of dementia, there's just one more reason to stop by the shop because we happen to have the very best Tai Chi and Qigong instructor in New England offering daily morning and evening classes.  So what are you waiting for?

Reference:

Lam LC, et al. J Am Med Dir Assoc. 2012 May 11. 

Solstice Surrender

The winter solstice is about the time of darkness yielding over to the light; from this point on, the nights grow shorter and the days are longer. It is a time of hope and rebirth, a time for self-reflection when we determine what no longer serves us: ways of thinking that haven't allowed us to be our True Self, unhealthy habits, regrets and resentments, sadness, anger, pain, old wounds that prevent new growth, and things whose time has passed; the winter solstice is the time to release those things - to surrender them -  and prepare the ground for new seeds to grow.

One of the ways that I've heard of to do this is to write down those things which you want to surrender on tiny slips of paper and then burning them, releasing them to the darkness to make space for the light. I like this idea.

I have much in my life that I need to examine and, then, let go of tonight. There are even a few things that I thought I had already surrendered during past years' rituals only to find that they had crept back into my life when I wasn't looking. Tonight, I will once more search my heart and give over these things which serve me no more, things which block my spiritual growth and potential.  Tonight, I join with Great Mother as She goes into labor and give birth to my own Child of Light.  I will pour all of my intention, determination, and courage into bringing forth this Child of Promise, that with the coming year, the change that arises will be a blessing not only to myself but to all whose lives I enter.

Brightest Blessings to you and yours on this Winter Solstice.

Small Business Saturday

With all of the television and radio ads for Black Friday, I felt I should remind folks of the importance of shopping small and local.

Small Business Saturday is nestled in there between Black Friday and Cyber Monday as the holiday shopping season opens and it’s an opportunity to recognize that our local small businesses are the backbone of our economy.

Dedicated to helping small businesses and their communities, the concept came about 3 years ago with the help of American Express. By shopping and buying from local, independently owned small businesses, you’re helping create jobs, boost the economy and preserve local neighborhoods.

In addition to the Small Business Saturday initiative, I am a strong supporter of the 3/50 Project.  

So, while you're out shopping for gifts this holiday season, please keep in mind the fact that you can help your community a LOT more by shopping at local, small, independantly owned businesses.

Happy Holidays!! 

Influenster - What's it all About?

I absolutely LOVE being a member of Influenster.  Since joining a few months back, I've already gotten to test out a plethora of products I might not have ever tried otherwise - and have pretty much LOVED all of them! So, you're probably asking yourself, "What is Influenster?"

Well, Influenster is a FREE program where you take short surveys and earn badges on their website in order to qualify for a FREE box of samples (sometimes the samples are actually full-sized products!) to try out or share with your family and friends, then review on Influenster.com.  You can also qualify for even more FREEBIES and special deals from the brands that work with Influenster!  What’s really unique about Influenster is that it is not a paid subscription program (the boxes are sent to you at no cost), rather, it’s a community of “trendsetters” who like to try out, share, and spread the word about products. Members qualify for boxes based on demographics and statistics as well as unlocking “badges” and promoting the products you try through reviews and social media. I've already earned several badges that have qualified me for the VoxBoxes that I've already gotten and I am totally geeked out about trying to earn more!  It's such a blast to open those boxes and unpack all of the goodies inside - it feels a bit like my birthday just keeps coming over and over again! (See? I told you I was geeked out. ;) )

You're probably thinking to yourself, "There has to be some kind of catch."  Believe me, I was skeptical at first, too, but there isn't one! Influenster is completely FREE to sign up for and when you qualify, it's completely FREE to receive your very own box of the latest product samples.

Alrighty, I can tell you're interested.  I bet you're wondering, "What are the benefits of joining Influenster?" Well, here they are in a nutshell. (OK, in a blog post.  Who reads nutshells, anyway?)

• as an active, contributing member of Influenster, you get the chance to share your knowledge and experiences with other like-minded people. People actually pay attention to your reviews! That's a big deal. 
• You also get exclusive discounts on products and services based on the Expert Badges that you unlock.
• As an active member, you get the chance to be invited to join in Influenster programs where you can try the latest and coolest products that are geared to your lifestyle before anyone else. 
• Members who participate actively on Influenster and engage in programs increase their opportunities to receive rewards.

Is that not awesome? So, what are you waiting for?  I mean, who has the money to burn buying and trying all the latest new products?  If you do, more power to you! If you don't and you are the kind of person who loves to share your opinion, then why not visit Influenster.com for more details and to join?!  I guarantee you, it's more fun than waxing your eyebrows. ;)

My IMpression of the imPRESS Press On Manicure

I received the imPress Press-On Manicure by Broadway Nails complimentary to test in my MomVox box of goodies from Influenster. I thought the packaging was really cute.  I mean, how neat to have the nails in a faux-nail polish bottle. When I finished, the Bear enjoyed shaking the extra nails around in the package because it sounded like a maraca. The bottle stayed securely closed even through a two-year-old's play time -- THAT'S impressive, too. 


Well, as I've mentioned in a previous post, the last time I'd tried a press-on manicure, I think I was 14.  Needless to say, it was not at all imPRESSive (get it? :P) in any way, as I recall.  I remember sitting there for the longest time trying to find the exact fit for my nails and being very disappointed in the fact that they just didn't have enough sizes, not to mention the over-all effect looked very unnatural.

The first thing I noticed about the imPress Press-On Manicure by Broadway Nails was the sheer variety of sizes.  I have pretty small hands and my nails tend towards slender, meaning that it can be hard to get the size just right when using this kind of manicure.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover that in almost no time I had found the perfect sizes! While I was doing that, I had to smile to myself over my luck at the color I was sent. It's like they knew! 

The next step was to use the included prep-pad, which smelled like it was nothing more than rubbing alcohol, to wipe over my fingernails before peeling off the backing on the nails and pressing them to my own nails. This was the part that took the most time as I wanted to make sure I aligned them correctly.  (No one wants to walk around with crooked fingernails.)

It was that easy! And the results were not too shabby at all. Have a look for yourself:

Aside from everything else that I liked about these press-on nails, I really like the practical length. Too often these kinds of things are made to look super glamorous or high maintenance but these nails were just the right length to be pretty and still practical. I felt well-groomed, but not over-done.  And finally, removal was a cinch!  I just lifted the corner and carefully pulled them off. 


So, I highly recommend the imPress Press-On Manicure by Broadway Nails, the revolutionary way to apply polish! Featuring advanced nail technology, you get a salon-perfect manicure in seconds – simply peel off the backing, press on, and you're done. There's no drying, a killer shine and a manicure that lasts up to a week! And, imPress is so easy to remove, you can change it up to match your mood as often as you want. Check out all 36 colors and patterns, including trendy brights, classic darks and animal prints. With imPress, your nails will always be your best accessory.


You can find the imPress Manicure at CVS, Rite Aid, Duane Reade, KMart, Walgreens, Walmart and more. For a full list of online and in-store retailers, visit imPressManicure.com, where you can download an exclusive coupon and virtually try on all the colors and patterns! Suggested retail price: $5.99 for colors and $7.99 for patterns

Ever Heard of Influenster?

I hadn't until about three weeks ago, so I'll give you a brief description of what it is.  It's a community of trendsetters who are invited to share their lifestyles and show off their influence to qualify for personalized product shipments, special rewards and exclusive deals from the brands they love. Members get the chance to test out the latest products, give feedback, and spread the word about their favorite finds in shipments that are called a "VoxBox".

Well, my very first VoxBox arrived yesterday and I have to admit I was as excited as a kid on Christmas morning when I saw it.  (Ok, ok, you've got me.  I'm like that every single time a package comes in the mail, even if I am expecting it and already know exactly what's inside.)

Anyway! This time, I had no idea what I would find, so I tore open the box as I stood in the kitchen and quickly snapped this photo:

Then, while looking at each product in closer detail, I'm sure I heard the Quaker Soft Baked Oatmeal-Raisin Cookie calling my name, so I opened it and my son and I shared it as I decided which of the products I had received for testing purposes compliments of Influenster I would be trying out next.

It didn't take me long to decide that I really could use a manicure, so we finished off the DELICIOUS Quaker Soft Baked cookie in record time - did I mention I LOVE oatmeal cookies? - and settled down on the sofa so that I could measure out the proper sizes of the BROADWAY imPRESS press-on nails I'd need.  Now, the last time I'd tried a press-on manicure, I think I was 14.  Needless to say, it was not imPRESSive (get it? :P) in any way, as I recall.  The first thing I noticed about this press-on manicure was the sheer variety of sizes.  I have pretty small hands and my nails tend towards slender, meaning that it can be hard to get the size just right when using this kind of manicure.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover that in almost no time I found the perfect sizes! While I was doing that, I had to smile to myself over my luck at the color I was sent. It's like they knew! 

The next step was to use the included prep-pad, which smelled like it was nothing more than rubbing alcohol, to wipe over my fingernails before peeling off the backing on the nails and pressing them to my own nails.

It was that easy! And the results were not too shabby at all. Have a look for yourself:

Only one hand because I needed the other to take the picture.

So far, those are the only products I've tried, but I'm pretty pleased with the contents.  I'll blog again after I've had a chance to try out the other items that came in my box.  In the meantime, thank you, Influenster!! 

I Love You, Suzi

You've been on my mind every day since I left - all of you have.  I hope you don't doubt that.  For whatever reason, the past couple of days, you in particular have been in my thoughts constantly.  I can't  imagine what's different than any other day that I bear the constant, continuous hollowness that aches because I can't hear your voice or see your smile, but incredibly enough, I hurt even more.  It's incredible because I didn't even believe that was possible.  

Yesterday, I heard a song on the radio that I'd never heard before, and I don't even know the artist, but her voice sounded exactly like yours and so I listened until about halfway through when I couldn't stand it anymore and changed the station.  I just sat and cried for awhile, wondering how you were doing and if you were maybe thinking about me.  

Forgiveness isn't mine to ask for, I know, and yet I am begging you for it the only way that I know how to.  Kindness isn't what I deserve from you and still I'm throwing myself at your mercy, praying that you might grant me just a little. 

I love you.

Always and forever,
Mom

A Change of Pace

My antibiotics are nearly done and I got the Teasel and Self Heal a few days ago.  I self-tested for the Teasel and after a positive result, took it.  I've been taking it once a day since. The change in how I feel is remarkable.  I honestly did not expect to get such an immediate and very clear change, but I did, almost within hours!  But then, that first night, I had the mother of all migraines.

And So the Journey Continues

My last blog was all about the discovery that I have Lyme and my plan to document the journey, wherever it leads me.  So, here I am today, feeling frustrated with the level of pain and general malaise in my body and my complete inability to do a thing about it.  I am still anxiously waiting for the herbs and herbal tinctures that I've ordered to arrive and  I'm taking my antibiotic religiously. (Which, now that I am in the third week, is causing a rather annoying fungal infection - oh, JOY!)

My Journey With Lyme

My journey with Lyme began a little over a month ago - quite recent compared to some horror stories which I've heard about.  It all began with a tick, as Lyme journeys are wont to do, which is ironic when you consider the fact that I am a serious creepy-crawlyphobe.  I'd give it a real scientific name, but it's not as simple as arachnophobia or insectophobia, so let's just leave that at that.

At any rate, the irony is, I was dressed to fend off the unwanted beasties.  My socks were long and tight on my calves; my pants were elastic at the ankles. I had my shirt tucked into my pants, and long sleeves on.

Product Testing - iQ Derm SmartLash

I've never had long, luscious lashes.  I have to layer on the mascara to even get them to show up.  Same goes for my eyebrows, but that's another story.  I've gotten so used to not seeing them (they're very fair) that if I do try to pencil them in, even with the lightest shade of eyebrow pencil, I look like some kind of clown.

As I said, the eyebrows are another story.  Let's get back to the lashes.  So, I got this tube of eyelash enhancer called iQ Derma SMARTLASH Eyelash Enhancer.  The manufacturer claims that it is completely free from the harsh side effects of other lash enhancement products, and is ophthalmologist-approved for wearers of contact lenses and sensitive eyes. Results may be seen in as little as seven days.  Well,  I'm game! Let's see what happens.